Comments on: Managing Job Loss: When The Breadwinner Loses His Job

By: Ellen

Ellen — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:22:18 +0000

You have no idea how depressing it is to lose your job when you are the primary (female) breadwinner. My husband is retired, but I’ve always been the primary earner in the family. However, I was never appreciated in this role, and while my family is happy to spend the money I make, I was always made to feel somehow disloyal because I was more successful at work than he was – so I was never congratulated for raises and promotions. And now that I’m unemployed, and back in school for the meantime, sitting amongst students less than half my age, I couldn’t feel more stupid and worthless. I wish someone understood.

By: Mr.Choice

Mr.Choice — Fri, 22 May 2009 19:42:07 +0000

It is good to receive proper support from your family when you encounter a definite job loss.

By: Becky

Becky — Wed, 20 May 2009 07:55:53 +0000

Jacques, I know exactly what you are talking about when you say that depression is always a danger when the bread winner is laid off of work. My husband was out of work for 6 months. It was so difficult for him to watch me assume the role of the breadwinner. Something he and I both learned by reading a great book on how to find, keep and maintain a job, titled, "The Job Coach for Young Professionals" by Susan Kennedy and Karen Baker was that a person must never succumb to the depression. They need to keep pressing forward. The only way to get a job is to be persistent. The worst thing a person can do is to give up on finding work.

By: Jacques Sprenger

Jacques Sprenger — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:54:26 +0000

Thank you, W, for taking the time to show all of us macho men that there is nothing shameful in assuming the Mr. Mom role. As you state, what’s wrong with being with your kids all day long; the family as a whole gains in understanding, even while many working moms complain that the man doesn’t pull his share of the domestic work. Very true also, depression is always a lurking danger and one must be ready to fight, mentally, this most damaging illness. I know, I went thru it and didn’t leave my house for one week, till a good friend pulled me out forcibly and affectionately.
Excellent comment!

By: Wojciech @ Fiscal Fizzle

Wojciech @ Fiscal Fizzle — Wed, 13 May 2009 11:46:19 +0000

You have to put the family first!

I hear a lot of people moping around because they don’t like their jobs, and the recession has “forced” them to accept what they have and stay put. Instead of bringing their “A-Game,” they continue complaining and being negative at work. (In many cases, they lose their jobs because of this).

If you have a family you’re responsible for, that should be priority #1. You should get your thoughts focused, your responsibilities straight, and get your “stuff” together at work to make sure you’re continuing to provide for the family.

Now, as far as the topic at hand, I don’t think there’s any shame in playing Mr. Mom for a while, or even permanently. What exactly is so bad about spending more time with your kids??? (Granted, you also have to cook and clean, but I happen to love doing both). I say – enjoy the extra time with family, the jobs will eventually come back.

Even for non-executives and other people who held high positions, the danger of depression is still strong. Many people I know who lost their jobs mope around all day, but that is their choice. Many others found jobs almost immediately by staying focused and understanding what they had to do.

Great post!