Let’s say you’re the main breadwinner, pulling in a six figure income and trusting your spouse or partner to take care of essential payments, and to deposit the surplus into a savings account. Lo and behold, he/she is diverting the money to his/her own goals, be it gambling or buying expensive stuff. So how can one hard-working individual detect and prevent such “infidelities”?
Help A Shopaholic Manage A Shopping Addiction
If you opted for joint accounts, you both receive monthly statements. It may be a good idea to get together once a month (it would be awkward to signal a lack of trust by checking the accounts on your own), to sit down and verify each account against the original bank documents. That is, if your relationship (hopefully) allows for this sort of cooperation.
Your wife, whom you love dearly, may have a shopping or gambling problem. She might max out her credit cards. If your partner is financially vulnerable, then I would strongly recommend not using separate credit cards, so that both of you can keep tabs on your credit card debt together. As it is, credit card companies will keep enticing you to spend more by increasing your credit limit over time; hence, going joint will allow you to detect problems before they become unmanageable.
Don’t Put Your Marriage At Risk
“By lying about money, or by even just not telling the whole truth, the foundation of a couple’s trust and loyalty begins to crack.” ~from wife.org
Lying about money (and other such behavior) may be the beginning of the end for many marriages. It is thus most important to establish a clear communication channel to detect and correct existing and potential problems before they destroy the relationship. But it’s not only the wife who may be guilty of secret purchases; how many husbands order that magical (expensive) new tool on the Internet while at work, knowing that the budget does not allow for that additional expense? If we don’t have the money, we should avoid charging anything to our credit cards: simple abstinence from spending is something I do to avoid making financial mistakes and getting into an unwanted financial mess.
Stop Overspending and Fight The Addiction
If you suspect your wife suffers from “shopaholism”, there are ways to confirm and cure the addiction. Does she have unused brand-new clothing hanging in her closet? Does she buy stuff even though she knows that the family suffers from excessive debt? These are signs of shopping addiction.
Nowadays, there are several ways to stop overspending and cure other addictions, from group therapy to hypnosis. But one of the essential conditions to cure any psychological problem is to have the desire to receive help. That is where a loving family will contribute enormously to convince the affected person that a treatment is necessary. Make no mistake, shopping addictions are very serious problems, just like gambling and drug use.
According to one expert, “there are no standard treatments for shopping addiction. Medications have been used; in some cases, antidepressants can treat the underlying issue of depression in someone with an addiction, but with mixed results.” The best results are obtained by joining a support group of addicted shoppers, similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. The action of recognizing the problem in front of the group of people who share the same addiction is in itself therapeutic. If your family has an addicted member, make sure you treat it as an illness and not as malicious behavior. Yelling and insulting your loved one will only cause the affected person to feel worse, thus running the risk of destroying your relationship with them.
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